Our childhood plays a significant role in shaping our subconscious mind and influencing how we process emotions, form relationships, and set boundaries. While ideally, parents would be self-actualized and supportive, many of us grew up with unconscious parents who repeated learned patterns and habits. It’s essential to realize that parents can only parent based on their level of awareness, and we can only give to others what we’ve practiced giving to ourselves.
In my experience working with various people, I’ve noticed that many seek help for communication problems in relationships, destructive habits, identity confusion, and feelings of low self-worth. These issues often stem from conditioned behavior practiced since childhood.
You might be hesitant to revisit your childhood, thinking it’s over, or believing it’s where you learned negative coping mechanisms. However, I want to share with you the transformative power of reparenting.
Reparenting is about giving yourself what you didn’t receive as a child. It’s acknowledging that your parents did their best with the awareness they had, and now it’s your opportunity to heal and consciously choose different behaviors as an adult.
The four pillars of reparenting are discipline, joy, emotional regulation, and self-care. Each pillar contributes to our emotional growth and well-being. It’s a process that takes time, commitment, and patience, but it leads to healing and forgiveness.
Reparenting allowed me to explore discipline in a different light and discover genuine joy. It involved self-compassion and relearning who I am. Reparenting changed me profoundly, bringing more confidence, empathy, and creative energy into my life.
If you’re considering starting the reparenting process, here are five steps to begin:
- Breathe: Take it one step at a time. Reparenting is a journey, and you don’t need to rush it. Avoid overwhelming yourself with too much change at once.
- Make one small promise to yourself every day: Choose a manageable promise that sets you up for success. For example, waking up a bit earlier or taking a short walk daily. Small steps add up.
- Share with someone you trust: Let a close friend or partner know about your reparenting journey for additional support.
- Use the mantra: “What can I give myself right now?” This mantra helps you connect with your needs and respond with self-compassion and care.
- Celebrate your progress: Acknowledge the courage and effort it takes to reparent yourself. Celebrate the person you are becoming.
Reparenting is not about blaming your parents but taking responsibility for your healing and growth. It’s a powerful and transformative process that can lead to greater self-awareness and a more fulfilling life. Remember to be patient with yourself and celebrate every step of your journey. You are worthy of the love and care you give to yourself.
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