Are your thoughts the shackles or the keys to your dreams?

What we say matters. A co-worker, family member, friends, anyone on earth who is not just a passing ship in the night, what we say matters, it’s an input into the foundation of a relationship.

This foundation…trust, humor, love, resilience… whatever it may be often takes long to build and seconds to be destroyed.

For some people, it’s easy to know when someone else is lying or not holding up their end of the bargain.

For others, it’s a challenge. If you find yourself in the latter category, it’s ok. Maybe you’ve not had much exposure to people or relationships like that or maybe someone once broke a bond or failed to make a bond that should have been made.

Either way, if you have difficulty identifying or trusting if someone is being genuine, it’s not your fault, maybe you just haven’t built that skill yet and it’s likely because you haven’t been exposed to it much and there are ways to change that (

For those who find themselves in the first category of being reasonably capable of identifying if someone’s behavior is genuine or not, can you recall a time when:

  1. You’ve identified it disingenuous behavior in a relationship
  2. You’ve done something to limit your exposure to it (i.e. breaking up, stopping working there, cut off communication, stopped a friendship or other relationship, etc.)

If you can recall many Step 1 scenarios and few Step 2, consider inquiring if there is a reason why a change in behavior does not follow Step 1.

Steps 1 & 2 are familiar & often accompany one another, then it’s reasonable to consider yourself someone who can identify genuine behavior and actively tries to increase their exposure to genuine behavior (which often involves hard decisions).

If that’s you, one last question, do you do the same with yourself?

Would you say that you treat yourself, your thoughts, the mental dialogue or inner voice playing in your head, with the same discretion?

Do some play on repeat? Do those thoughts leave your dreams in shackles or are they the keys?

Are you building the skills to skip to the next track if it’s one singing of shackles? Do you promote bringing thoughts that unlock dreams to yourself & others?

-Adam @thatmhg

Founder of Avalo (

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